Thursday, June 4, 2009
I was 18 and Confused
just felt I needed to share my story. I was 18 and it was the end of march or beginning of april when I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I (now fiance) were very confused on what to do. He had his deposit down for his college and I was about to do the same for the same school. When I told him the news he immediately dropped out of the college that was a few hours away and enrolled in community college for the fall. We both wanted to keep the baby but he also said he would stand by whatever decision I would make. We were together for almost 2 years when this happened. Well we told his parents first and they were really supportive. We both were 18 and had a strong relationship. My mom and family on the other hand were VERY angry. My mom kept pushing for abortion and I cried EVERYDAY because of the way my family was putting pressure on me. I did not know what to do so I went along with my family and had an abortion. I seemed like the only young woman there who actually cared about what I was about to do. I cried the entire time there and I knew my mom would be furious if I didn't go through with it. The procedure was painful physically and emotionally. I felt awful. I was so angry with myself. A few months went by since and my boyfriend finally confessed how he felt about the abortion. He cried to me about how much he was looking forward to being a daddy and he would have done whatever it took to help support us. I cried my eyes out that day because if I would have heard him say those words the day I had the abortion I would have walked right out of there. I confided in a close friend of mine about what happened and she turned her back on me and told people at school and before I knew it I was being harassed. Being called a baby killer and other really harsh comments were made. I went home crying EVERYDAY until graduation day. I was so afraid that someone would stand up at graduation when they announced my name and say something rude because that was how bad I was harassed. I'm a pretty quiet girl and never got in trouble in school but when this one girl in my English class kept making comments to her friend about me I got up in her face and cursed her out. I had about enough of everyone's taunting and harassing and she was the last straw. I was sent to the office but did not get in trouble, they were aware of the situation that was going on, which nothing was really done about it. I will never forget my senior year, it was the worst year of school, instead of remembering the good I will always remember the way my classmates treated me. I am now 21 and have a beautiful almost 3 month old son. He is my everything. I am still with my boyfriend and we're planning to get married within a year. I will never make that decision again and I regret listening to my mother. I still think about my son or daughter to this day. So girls before you go have an abortion really think it through especially if you really want to keep your baby. Don't let anyone else talk you out of it. It's your baby and that baby will love you for the rest of your life.